This is for those who stand...for the ones that try again

I have made a commitment to myself this week to put the best me out there that I can.  That can and does manifest itself in a lot of big and little ways - one of which is dress. 

Fact:  I feel better when I put on clothes that I feel good about.

Fact:  I feel better when I put on a little makeup and throw some stuff in my hair (which if you are good with such things, I need help -- need product advice for newest 'do!)

Fact: I only do these things about 50% of the time. 

Why?

I want to default to my story of "I'm lazy" but that isn't a true story at all.  It's the story I have thrust upon myself because it is convenient and it feels safe and normal but it isn't true.

Yes, sure.  There are some mornings when an extra 10 minutes in bed seems much better than putting on eyeshadow but I feel way better when I do those things than for those 10 minutes in bed so my commitment to myself for this week is to do that.  Get out of bed, put on an outfit I feel good in and project myself out there just a bit more for the confident person that so many people tell me I appear to be.  Sadly, I generally write them off as having no idea what they're talking about. 

Matching the internal dialog to the external facade is tough for everyone.  I used to think it was just difficult for me but the more I learn and the more time I truly take to listen to people - the more I realize that the internal and external are quite often not in integrity for a lot of folks.  Resolving that dichotomy is one way that I am working on myself and I invite others to do the same.

How does living out of integrity in this way serve or dis-serve you?

Comments

[Karin]

I know a retired public school teacher who supports school uniforms who would tell you that when you are put together a little better, everyone benefits because you will behave/work/produce in the same manner in which you are presenting. We're trying it with the hockey league this year, dress better for games and see the results!!!

[Keri]

This is a beautiful post!

[BJ]

The other thing one could do is just be honest about how one feels internally -- I mean, if the goal really is integrating the internal and external, one way to do that would be to admit the truth of the internal. I feel tired today. I'm not really interested in this. I'm doing it for the money. I'd rather be playing Wii than talking to this person...

However, doing so would be socially illegible in almost all contexts, especially professional contexts. The idea is intriguing to me, though, and reminds me of the opening scenes of that movie The Invention of Lying. I found those scenes both terrifying (oh my goodness what if people actually DID that?!?) and exhilarating (oh my goodness what if we COULD actually do that?!?).