It was mid May 2008 and I was in Chicago on a business trip. I had been attending boot camp for a few months and I had really built up a good habit of exercising 6 days a week. So after my work I went downstairs to the little gym in the hotel and I got on the treadmill and I noticed it had a "jog" and "run" setting. Ok I thought, let's try the jog setting - just see what that means. So I did and it set me at a RAPID pace of 4.1 MPH (yes, I do know that is hardly fast) and I started jogging. And I said to myself "just 1 minute -- let's do this for just 1 minute" and a minute came and I wasn't tired so I bargained again "2 minute, let's try that" - 2 came up quickly and I was doing great so I decided to be crazy and said "let's see if we can do this for .25 miles" - crazy, right? Well, not really because I did it and I wasn't really winded/tired. So I went through the same bargaining for .5 miles to .75 miles and then to a mile. And I was FREAKING THE HELL OUT. I had just run a mile. I had NEVER been able to run a mile. If it hadn't been a complete stranger on the TM next to me, I would have grabbed him and kissed him. I ran upstairs and called my friend Maria and FREAKED THE HELL OUT with her. I was so flippin happy and so proud of myself. I felt strong and I felt good.
So what did I do? I went downstairs the next day and did it again! It wasn't a fluke. I was doing it. HOLY SCHMOLY! I was running a mile.
Then I came home from the trip and I went to my gym and I did it again! HOW FREAKIN COOL!
And then you know what I did?
I never did it again. Why? I don't know. I want to say I was/am lazy. But I am starting to wonder if that is the story that I tell myself to excuse myself from participating in my life. I was told as a kid over and over again that I was lazy -- I didn't make my bed (I still don't!), I did homework at the last minute (I still do!), I left my shoes in the middle of the living room (that one, not so much but I do leave them at the bottom of the stairs) but I am wondering if my Story of being lazy is just kind of holding me back.
The last few weeks I have been itching to get out there and run again but I know how painful it is going to be right now. I am not where I was in the spring of 2008 and I kind of want to jump back to that without doing the work to get there. However, I do know better and I know that you have to do the work to get there. It won't just happen on its own. So with that in mind, I signed myself up for boot camp again. I really did enjoy it - minus the HORRIFICALLY early hours (I have to be out of my house by 5:10 am) and I loved the leader, Jen Brango, who for some odd reason finds my intense snarkiness REALLY funny at 5 am (and folks, I'm really not that funny at 5 am but I am intensely snarky) so hopefully again - before I head off to Ireland, I can run a mile again because god damn that felt good!
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