Here's some true confession time...

December 9 Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you? 

It's a pretty simple thing that made me grow this year.  Love.  

I have never been really great at accepting unconditional love from men.  My father and I have had a tumultuous relationship - which is now great but as a result -- I have trouble getting that men can love me unconditionally.  Prior to this last year, the only man who I knew loved me without question and without hesitation was my west coast BFF.  In fact, a few weeks ago I was talking about this very subject and I said "the only man I have even known to truly love me has been you" - and his response? - "that's right bitch and don't you fucking forget it."  Ahhhh, true love.

I was married for 5 years and in that time I had to beg, plead, cry, demand and fight for anything and everything I needed.  And I'm not talking huge profound needs -- I'm talking simple stuff like help with the laundry when I was traveling 100,000 miles a year or not coming home from a business trip at 2 am only to have to do dishes that had been in the sink since I left for said business trip.  EVERYTHING was a battle.  EVERYTHING was a challenge and it was exhausting.  Truly and honestly...exhausting.

This fall when my fiance and I were having issues -- I really thought I would go to him with those problems and the response would be "tough, this is just the way it is" and I thought we'd be done.  I couldn't imagine a world in which I could come to my partner and say that certain things were making me unhappy and have that partner not just hear me but truly listen and be willing to work on those things.  I wasn't prepared for someone, a man, to really love me that much.  I had to go to the ledge of our relationship to learn that even if I stepped off of it -- I'd be caught and we'd be ok.  I was challenged by and learned from love this year.

Comments

[Jess]

I'm so glad that you're with someone who listens to you and works to meet your needs. What a great thing.

[kellee]

Love does challenge us, sometimes it brings heartache and other times it is joy.

I'm thrilled you've found the joy in love this year. May it continue in all the years to come.