Our house is a very very very fine house...
With two cats in the yard...
Life used to be so hard...
Now everything is easy cuz of you...
~Crosby, Stills and Nash
Well, I do have 2 cats and lord knows that 3 or 4 years ago, life was hard but as of last Friday night -- this house was no longer *our* house -- it is now *my* house. With the exception of a few credit cards and FF miles accounts in my married name, the last vestige of my marriage was shrugged off as I refinanced my house and my ex-husband's name was removed from the deed.
Nothing really changed - ok, well my mortgage went down a couple hundred bucks and I no longer have fears of freak rate adjustments but something significant happened. I am legally all out there on my own. When my ex-husband and I had been dating for about 7 months, my roommate moved to Pittsburgh to go to law school and I had to find my own apartment. He wanted to move in with me and I said no, I wasn't ready. I had never lived on my own and I needed to do it to know that I could do it. So if it ever did happen, I'd be ok. Well, it did happen and it happened 3.5 years ago now and I was ok. I am ok. I was thinking the other day that I have been living alone for a while now and the time seems to have flown by. I have certain rituals (come home and if I'm in for the night, I change into my jammies and make some dinner). I have ways of doing things - loading the dishwasher, washing dishes, taking care of ironing - a lot of rituals that I am sure are holdovers from when I was married but now they are very much mine. I don't have to consider anyone else when I make decisions about my home.
This weekend, my boyfriend helped me put together a bed frame for my guest room and hang a ceiling fan in my bedroom (and we didn't electrocute ourselves...GO US!) but they were totally my decisions. Then again, we stood in the basement the other night (which I am in the midst of repainting) and talked about how the room would become a rec room/playroom in a few years. I'm on the verge of living with someone again (no, there is nothing official happening in that arena but I think we both know we're moving in that direction) and as much as I am looking forward to having someone to come home to and having someone to wake up with every day...I am also keenly aware of that which I will give up too. My freedom and control and I'll give up *my* home -- rather I'll share *my* home but for the few months when this place is only mine - I'm really going to enjoy owning my home all by myself.
living alone is an important skill. When you get weary of it, just call and we can trade places for a few days!!:)
Posted by: Karin | Tuesday, 03 November 2009 at 08:57 AM