Round up to 1

Never, ever let it be said that I am one of the cool kids on the bleeding edge of the new cool thing.

I'm not.

Also, never, ever let it be said that if I have a crush on a guy -- chances are higher than not that he's gay.

Because he is.

I have known about Dan Savage for ages -- given my ridiculous love of all things Seattle, I have read "The Stranger" online for years (I laugh really hard every time my BFF says to me "so yeah, there was an article in this local paper called "The Stranger" and blah blah blah" - yes dear, I know and chances are...I read it too.  But I digress.

So I've known about this guy for ages but I have just started listening to his podcast...and now...I can't stop.  Seriously -- it's going to become a problem sooner than later.  And I love his advice - he is funny as hell, tells it like it is (though I may not always agree with him - I am certainly looking at open relationships in a very different way - and wonder if he and his husband have one) and has not a single iota of apology for dropping every curse word in the history of the universe. Seriously -- he makes me laugh. 

This morning I was listening to one where a woman called in wanting to know what to do about a guy she'd been with for like 4+ years, lived with for like 3+ years and from whom she is now split because he isn't sure he's ready to make the next step to marriage and she is because he's "the one".

And Dan said something interesting...there's no such thing as "the one" (which I agree with) but he continued with something to the effect of "there's only a bunch of people who are close and who we may round up to be 'the one'." and he also continued on that your "the one" is the current "the one" and if there is someone else, they then become your "the one".

It made me think a bit about the times when I have been in love and that person has been my "the one" - my 8th grade boyfriend was "the one" ...when I was 13.  I'm pretty sure if I ever found him again -- he wouldn't be "the one". 

A friend of mine is currently in a relationship that so mirrors the last romantic relationship that I had previous to my current one that it is difficult to help her - to talk to her about it because it not only brings up all of the pain and heartache and tears (and my GOD were there tears!) - but I also see where it is going.  She truly believe he is "the one" - just like I believed it of that relationship - she's gone so far as to tell me she'd fall apart without him.  And I believed the same.  But it is wonderful to be on the other side of that and know that relationship wasn't "the one" and I imagine my friend's isn't for her either but wow -- when you are in it -- really in it.  There is no one but "the one".

Comments

[jennster]

wait wait.. so is he gay? lol

[Amanda Lipnack]

oh yes -- my crush Dan Savage is gayer than the day is long...

[Jen]

Talk about making my day: "Never, ever let it be said that I am one of the cool kids on the bleeding edge of the new cool thing." - THe same is true for me! :)

On a more serious note, more disconcerting for me than the idea of a single "one" is the idea that many of us have (women especially) that we could never be okay without our SO.

You're a perfect example of how it SEEMED that way, but it's not. You didn't fall apart. You're more than okay!