I feel I need to confess something...

To begin, let me say this.  I am not a big fan of reality TV.  I've never watched "Survivor", I've seen about 1/2 of an episode of "Amazing Race" - I've never watched "American Idol" or those dancing shows (despite my mother's insistence that they are...compelling.)  I did watch "Joe Millionaire" where that idiot woman wanted to be a mercenary and wash the children.   I watched a few seasons of "The Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" - I think I even watched Ryan and Trista's wedding (mostly with my jaw on the floor.)  So I am not totally ignorant of reality TV - I have enough friends that watch it that I have a small sense of what goes on in these shows etc.  I am no expert but I do have an opinion.

And my opinion is this:

I DESPISE The Biggest Loser.  The intarwebs seems to be all a buzz today about the woman on BL who lost her whole family etc.  My heart goes out to this woman -- I can't imagine losing my family tragically.  I hope I never have to imagine it.  And good for her for getting out of bed and living life because I think a lot of us would be tempted to do otherwise.

That being said - I truly, in my heart and in my soul feel that BL is a horribly cruel and evil show.  Now, I know that some of you, my friends, love the show, watch the show, are inspired by the show.  And I think that's great.  I think that anything that gets people to live healthy lives and do things to take care of themselves is good.  But at the beginning of the last few fall TV seasons when people have started talking about this -- I get a lump in my throat and stomach that makes it hard for me to breathe.  I try to explain this to my friends and they don't understand.  They tell me that I'm the one who doesn't understand the point of the show.  That if I would just watch it, I too would be inspired.  It would help heal me of my issues with food and my body and my being.  And I think they are very sincere in their appreciation of this show and their love of me. 

I have tried to watch the show on 2 occasions - both times left me in tears and hyperventilating.  And not the kinds of tears my friends talk about -- the kind of tears where you are so angry and so hurt and so humiliated for yourself or what you are watching that you wish you could erase it from your mind.  The fact that they put people through "food challenges" is despicable to me.  Absolute abuse.  And here is why.  To get to the point that these people are  - 100, 200 and 300 pounds overweight.  They have a very destructive relationship with food.  They are likely food addicts and they are certainly stuffing other stuff done with food.  You don't get to be that heavy just because you like candy a little too much.  You get that way because you are using food as a coping mechanism.  To me, doing these challenges is like throwing someone in AA into a bar with all you can drink liquors and saying "whatcha gonna do honey?  you gonna cave like a bad girl or are you going to be good and be better than we think you are?"  It is cruel and it is mean and it is disrespectful.  Add to that the fact that these people lose 20+ pounds a week or whatever the length of the episode is timewise.  I think this is setting people up who do not have a good understanding of nutrition and more than that -- do not have a good understanding of their emotional issues around food -- it's setting them up to feel like more of a failure than they already do. 

I think it is cruel and I think it is mean.  I think that hatred and mocking of people who struggle with weight is one of the few last tolerated bigotries in this country.  Through all of this talk about the health care crisis etc, we keep coming back to the idea that if people just lost weight, just were responsible etc, than that would cut down costs around health care.  And no doubt, our health care costs are high because people are overweight and aren't as healthy as they can be.  I don't deny that for a single second.  But what I find really hard to swallow (har!) is the impression that people who have never truly struggled with weight have that it's just about a little self-control and will-power.  That if you want it enough, it's easy.  It is easy for people who haven't used food as a coping mechanism for 30 years.  It is easy for people who just choose beef over chicken and once they choose leaner meats for a while are able to drop 10 pounds.  This isn't what we're talking about here.  This isn't about people who want to lose 5 pounds, 10 pounds or even 20 pounds.  This is about people who are 100 pounds overweight, 200 pounds overweight.  This is about people who live in constant shame - who wake up EVERY GOD DAMN MORNING and say "today is going to be different.  Today is the day I am going to get control of my life, I am going to be healthy" and then something comes up and stops them dead in their tracks and they feel they are going to rip out of their own skin if they can't eat something to stuff down the feelings...the hurt, the pain, the fear...whatever it is.

I know that everyone who is overweight won't agree with me.  And that's fine -- their journey is their own and I respect that. And I know that some of my friends and millions of other who have struggled with their weight find a lot to gain (again, har!) from watching BL but I can not be alone in this one. I can not be the only one who hears of this show and sees this show and doesn't feel like the universe is sending out a big FUCK YOU to all of us who have struggled.  I am not inspired by it. I just feel like it is one more way that society is reminding me of something that I fight with constantly.  That there is something wrong with me.

Comments

[Karin]

Amen Sister! Amen!

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=703875516]

Word.

[Robin]

I totally agree.